Monday, April 25, 2011

Holding Light

I am gonna keep saying my prayers
I am gonna keep the faith
I am gonna keep hope float
I am gonna keep praying for patience

That things would work out
That love would find me
That love be returned
That whatever God has planned
The bigger picture would be fully accepted
be fully understood
Trust that He wants nothing but the best for me

Even if the love is not physically around
to always and know and feel that the love would always be there
Feel the love and blessings

Kuala Lumpur
April 25, 2011

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Bigger Picture

I am such a fool
Maybe I have been mad
Mad at the world
Mad at life
Its hard to say
Thought I understand
But then again....
Its a bitter pill to swallow

God sent me there
God showed and lead me to you
I feel blessed
I feel happy
I feel loved
I feel grateful

Why was I there
Why we met
Why was that all taken away from me
When I was not planning
When I was not ready,
not wanting to let it all go

Guess maybe
I do know
The time came
Its meant to end
Thats is not meant to be

Lessons came
Lessons learned
Love came
Love lost
Love learned

Dear God just help me learn
Just help me fully understand
What your bigger plan
what the bigger picture
that you have for me

Kuala Lumpur
April 12, 2011

Friday, April 8, 2011

Forgive Me

Forgive me
that I am human
That dear God, It take a lot sometimes for me,
that I do get sad,
I do get get angry
that I don't feel that I deserve the things that happens to me
That sometimes I don't always understand your plan, your reasons
But I do love you
I trust you
I always strive to do and be better

Forgive me Mama and papa,
that have had enough
enough of that feeling less then
enough of that expectations
what you think a good daughter should be
sorry that I am not cut in your mold
that you can't love,understand,accept unconditionally and be happy
I don 't want to be you
I want to be better
be happy
find my bliss
find my joy

Forgive me dear sister
that you feel that I am not a good enough older sister for you
that we are two different people but asked to fit in

Forgive me that I hurt
that I hurt
the scars are there
that I refuse to live this way
that you call me ungrateful
just because,
that I have the brains
that I try to say my peace
that give up telling them because they are not heard

I am who I am
Forgive me

I rise

When I don't know what else to do
What else to say

Forgive me,
I am sorry
that I am human
that I hurt
I bleed
I get angry
that sometimes It's just to much
that it takes every ounce of me to live ,breathe and love

but.. I rise

Kuala Lumpur
April 8,2011