tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23681284769582838392024-02-18T19:29:31.347-08:00The Zee ChroniclesGod loving, joy seeking, fun loving, truth living,bullshit hating spirit of the earthThe Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-15425178788746996572015-03-07T02:38:00.001-08:002015-03-07T02:38:42.869-08:00It's Not You AnymoreI remember that little girl,<br />
<br />
She told you she loved you,<br />
<br />
She told you she needed you,<br />
<br />
She said she needed more time with you,<br />
<br />
She told you how she felt,<br />
<br />
You mocked her, , said all this childish silliness,<br />
<br />
Never once did you acknowledge how that little girl felt<br />
<br />
<br />
Never did she blame you,<br />
<br />
She knew you only did what you knew how to,<br />
<br />
You loved her the little that you knew,<br />
<br />
<br />
She is done,<br />
<br />
Not caring much anymore,<br />
<br />
Done with not feeling not worthy,<br />
<br />
Done searching what it means to feel love and safe,<br />
<br />
Done asking you for that...<br />
<br />
You don't have her heart anymore,<br />
<br />
She knows....<br />
<br />
You only did and know what you know....<br />
<br />
You hurt her,<br />
<br />
She is healing<br />
<br />
It's not you anymore<br />
<br />
It's her.. It's God<br />
<br />
She get's mad sometimes, <br />
<br />
She trust God enough to not forsake her...<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur <br />
March 7, 2015The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-7179390733298822652015-01-14T03:24:00.001-08:002015-01-14T03:24:34.518-08:00Wish you'd listen..... <br />
<br />
<br />
Wish you know..and you do...<br />
How much I dispice your arrogance<br />
Your absolute need to be dominant and right<br />
Your words cut<br />
Your words hurt<br />
You dish it out<br />
..you can't take when it's given to you...<br />
<br />
God knows..<br />
I spend my whole life<br />
I try to be loving<br />
I try to be positive<br />
I am drained<br />
I am all out of that good shit for you<br />
<br />
I can't get thru a fucking cold soul like you,<br />
The.. I really don't give a fuck about anything really..<br />
YOU said those words to me...<br />
You act act and feel like you are the queen,<br />
<br />
If you hear this words..<br />
It's me that's going be in that ditch,<br />
You know how empty that makes me feel?????<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
January 14, 2015<br />
<br />
<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-71598482486720868252014-11-19T17:26:00.002-08:002014-11-19T17:27:01.250-08:00This Fear<br />
<br />
<br />
Fear..<br />
Makes us doubt,<br />
Makes us question,<br />
Makes us loose faith..<br />
in us..<br />
in our own sanity...<br />
in the ones that we love...<br />
<br />
You wonder why it makes us go crazy?<br />
Silly me...<br />
<br />
Sure God knows the truth,<br />
but..that voice in your heart,<br />
She loves you,<br />
She would never leave and fail you,<br />
<br />
Trust..<br />
Believe...<br />
Hear it..<br />
Embrace it..<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
November 20, 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-13500627895066046182014-11-19T17:09:00.003-08:002014-11-19T17:09:52.029-08:00To That Voice<br />
Tell me,<br />
dear lingering negative voices,<br />
Who's life is this?<br />
Last I checked it's mine, not yours.<br />
<br />
Just love me just as,<br />
Why?...<br />
Why do you find it your place to tell me <br />
that I will never be worthy enough...<br />
<br />
I have to act and be of a certain way,<br />
I have to look a certain way,<br />
For crying out loud<br />
You... I hear and see you telling me <br />
how to worship God your way... <br />
It has to be your way or the highway..<br />
<br />
Fucking stop!<br />
Stop chipping<br />
Stop chirping at me!<br />
No one is perfect,<br />
No one ever will be<br />
I know that..<br />
I embrace that...<br />
I will learn to love that more...<br />
<br />
Only God and ONLY GOD<br />
Can judge me,<br />
Don't you dare judge me,<br />
when all I am trying to be ,<br />
is to be and give the best version of me daily<br />
Don't you dare make me doubt ME<br />
because its God's light that created this.<br />
Let me do it on my terms with HIM by my side.. not yours.<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
November 20, 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-61552977968227146092014-07-17T22:20:00.001-07:002014-07-17T22:20:22.594-07:00Still<br />
Fly away,<br />
Be happy,<br />
Nothing would make me happier,<br />
Just don't ever hate me<br />
For saying...<br />
For feeling..<br />
For admitting...<br />
I will always be by your side,<br />
That I will always love,<br />
That I will always care,<br />
The reasons will always be there,<br />
What we shared...<br />
Our little moments...<br />
That's my beautiful truth,<br />
That can't be changed,<br />
Forever in my heart,soul and memory,<br />
Won't deny,<br />
Won't fight,<br />
Just don't hate me for it,<br />
Please forgive me....<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
July 18, 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-73543448404752464832014-07-06T03:55:00.002-07:002014-07-06T03:56:03.577-07:00Never The PlanIt's so easy …...<br />
The could haves......<br />
Should haves.....<br />
Would haves......<br />
You wonder,<br />
Your ponder,<br />
You cry,<br />
You hurt,<br />
Here comes the pity party for one.<br />
<br />
I know I love you,<br />
I know I miss you,<br />
I think of you a lot, <br />
I never wanted to leave,<br />
That was never part my plan<br />
I thought I had my life all planned out.<br />
<br />
There is no point looking back<br />
What happened, happened<br />
Life is life... <br />
Some people live their dreams,<br />
Some count blessings,<br />
Its just the way it is,<br />
All in the hands of God,<br />
Even if it seems easy<br />
I know it isn't<br />
<br />
You don't know.. You never will... <br />
That's the beauty of life<br />
What do know.<br />
Is what's in front of you and the choices you have to make,<br />
What and how we want to live it and be remembered<br />
That,s more important,<br />
The joy,<br />
The love,<br />
finding it in the smallest things and places,<br />
It's there,<br />
You were never meant to play small but that's where it starts.<br />
With God<br />
it's never ..Have it your way.. know that..... <br />
Trust...<br />
You are not forsaken.. never was... never will be.....<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
July 6 .2014<br />
<br />
<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-71995970991182188692014-05-03T20:36:00.001-07:002014-05-03T20:42:16.433-07:00I cry<br />
<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
For the life I have been given,<br />
For the fact that I have to accept and be grateful for it,<br />
Tho I don't fully understand it.<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
For every hurtful ways,<br />
For every hateful words,<br />
That has to be swallowed,<br />
in the name of blood,<br />
in the name of being filial.<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
for every battle fought,<br />
but feel that life goes around in circles.<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
I know I am only human,<br />
I am a woman,<br />
A woman that would never fully understand,<br />
what it means to carry a child,<br />
What it means to give birth to him or her,<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
At the thought of...<br />
Is there really love out there for me?<br />
The one that said was meant for me,<br />
Thought I found it,<br />
Felt like it was taken from me,<br />
Never got that back,<br />
Then I told myself,<br />
God knows....<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
I don't want to loose hope<br />
I don't want to loose faith<br />
It has been too long,<br />
Could it be more than what this soul can handle?<br />
<br />
I cry,<br />
I have been a good person,<br />
tho imperfect,<br />
Why can't I get somethings,<br />
Somethings has got to be right!<br />
<br />
Don't I deserve it?<br />
Apparently not!<br />
Maybe later they say,<br />
Be patient,<br />
How long more?<br />
How long more?<br />
How long more?<br />
<br />
<br />
A mere frail human<br />
trying to understand........<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
May 1, 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-83507477775690789752014-04-22T20:44:00.001-07:002014-04-22T20:45:27.704-07:00Presence<br />
Your presence in my life,<br />
It brings out the best in me,<br />
Your presence in my life,<br />
Lets me know and makes me sure<br />
of God's love and mercy,<br />
Sure of life and its beauty,<br />
As much as I hate its complications,<br />
The occasional feeling of one sidedness,<br />
I trust the light that it comes from,<br />
I could never deny it,<br />
leave it,<br />
hate it.<br />
<br />
It is what it is,<br />
I blame you for it,<br />
I love you for it,<br />
I allowed myself to feel it,<br />
To fall for it,<br />
I forgive myself for its so called stupidity,<br />
It is what it is.<br />
<br />
For as long as God says it is<br />
Till he makes it stop,<br />
Until he takes me and these feelings away,<br />
For as long as you want it to be,<br />
I will be around ,<br />
I will be there.<br />
That soldier,<br />
That lover,<br />
That sister,<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
April 18, 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-87898716507265354932014-04-04T03:56:00.001-07:002014-04-04T03:56:16.689-07:00YOU<br />
<br />
You.<br />
Beautiful,<br />
Created in divinity,<br />
To be cherished,<br />
To be appreciated,<br />
To be loved,<br />
To be really seen,<br />
You are not a property,<br />
Property to be owned.<br />
<br />
You,<br />
Your voice,<br />
Is to be spoken in love,<br />
To be spoken in kind,<br />
To be spoken in laughter,<br />
To be heard,<br />
To be really heard,<br />
To be understood,<br />
Not misunderstood,<br />
Not judged,<br />
Not to be dismissed,<br />
Not to be silenced.<br />
<br />
You,<br />
That heart,<br />
To be nurtured,<br />
To feel, deeply feel,<br />
You,<br />
To feel safe,<br />
Its OK to feel and to have an opinion,<br />
To stand up tall, <br />
To stand up strong,<br />
Even if you are only 4 ft 10,<br />
You,<br />
Just to be,<br />
Just to be happy.<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
April 4th 2014<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-31908191649774131052014-03-25T17:48:00.005-07:002014-03-25T17:48:59.950-07:00Disapear<br />
Wish I didn't feel this way,<br />
But its how I feel,<br />
I see,<br />
I feel,<br />
The lack of joy,<br />
The lack of life,<br />
The lack of love,<br />
The “my way is right” you are “lost”<br />
The conditional love that you have,<br />
The conditional love that you give.<br />
<br />
It makes me sick,<br />
I makes me sad,<br />
It makes me angry,<br />
Makes me look at you every morning<br />
with thoughts....<br />
“That;s not me!”<br />
“That's not who I want to be!”<br />
“That's not who I aspire to be!”<br />
<br />
I have no real choice in this,<br />
If I want to be the best person and who I need to be.....<br />
Dear God,<br />
I ask you to help me,<br />
Help me out,<br />
Help me get over the hurt,<br />
Let me become …<br />
The daughter,<br />
The sister,<br />
Someone's beautiful,kind, adored , good wife,<br />
Your humble,servant<br />
A great person,<br />
<br />
Let me rise,<br />
Let me shine,<br />
The way you meant me to be<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
March 26 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-7919441549228903142014-02-18T17:39:00.000-08:002014-02-18T17:39:00.926-08:00For The Last TimeLet go,<br />
Tears,<br />
Anger,<br />
Hurtful behavior,words<br />
They are there,<br />
They may chip away at you,<br />
But you are better than believing that crap thrown at you,<br />
Letting it tear you down<br />
Breaking you,<br />
<br />
I refuse to let you do that to yourself,<br />
You may not be perfect,<br />
You've been called names, <br />
Told a million times of whats wrong with you,<br />
How you ought to be,<br />
You are human,<br />
You are allowed to be imperfect,<br />
But know this.......<br />
You are beautiful,<br />
soul and spirit,<br />
Just remember that......<br />
<br />
Dust yourself off<br />
Tell yourself<br />
I am here..<br />
I am who I am<br />
I am a good person,<br />
You want to kick me<br />
Maybe you did,<br />
But I rise up.<br />
<br />
You lost me,<br />
You are never going to win....<br />
I choose ME<br />
In the name of God and everything that is holy,<br />
I choose love and I choose ME<br />
You can kiss me GOODBYE<br />
I am done,<br />
I am done,<br />
I am done,<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
February 19 2014The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-5577299999680581102014-02-16T17:45:00.000-08:002014-02-16T17:45:59.001-08:00Breaking Down <br />
Broke down,<br />
Its not about you..<br />
But somehow that ego of yours,<br />
Made it about you...<br />
Manage to criticize and chip away at my being,<br />
That I don't believe , dress and do things to way you do,<br />
What a bad person I am,<br />
<br />
You wonder why I can't talk to you....<br />
I don't feel safe,<br />
Your love...<br />
The one that you claim to have...<br />
They feel conditional,<br />
Your love is conditional,<br />
<br />
When I look at you,<br />
Most of the time I think,<br />
I do not want to be like you,<br />
Not this version of you,<br />
<br />
I was never good enough then,<br />
I am still less then to you now,<br />
<br />
<br />
If I am mad....<br />
Hell I am......This shit is done...<br />
Whats stopping me?<br />
I don't even know where to start.<br />
Even if I did....<br />
My soul would stop me...<br />
<br />
Damn conscience!!!!<br />
God and faith stopped me..<br />
And still.... I am the bad one....<br />
You can't even remember what I said or did five minutes ago....<br />
<br />
If you only knew<br />
the raw words I wish I could say to you,<br />
You don't even really want to hear and see me,<br />
and THAT'S THE TRUTH!<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
February 17, 2014<br />
<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-90354435665963703092014-02-06T05:59:00.003-08:002014-02-09T21:22:41.517-08:00My Unconditional<br />
Thinking of you,<br />
Always thinking of you<br />
Couldn't be bothered ..<br />
Bothered to tell my heart...<br />
Bothered to tell my mind..<br />
Shut it off!!<br />
Not even going to....<br />
Never made sense... probably never will<br />
But that's OK<br />
I have surrendered to that.<br />
<br />
Don't take me for naive,<br />
Don't take me for stupid,<br />
Don't take be for silly,<br />
I know imperfections.....<br />
but,,, in those imperfections<br />
you were always my unconditional,<br />
Always my guiding light,<br />
making me ,<br />
telling me,<br />
wanting me,<br />
Seek and be that better version of you,<br />
as YOU yourself seek that better version of you<br />
<br />
There will always be darkness,<br />
You are that light,<br />
You are that rock,<br />
In your arms,<br />
I feel love,<br />
In that heart that millions seek,<br />
In that heart that millions cares,<br />
I am that corner space,<br />
Where I still feel the safest,<br />
I feel my wings, <br />
I feel my joy,<br />
Where I do feel my peace,<br />
I just do.<br />
<br />
In the seen or the unseen imperfections,<br />
You are my unconditional,<br />
Eternally will be.<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
February 6,2014<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-6767935750376829652013-11-02T05:40:00.003-07:002013-11-02T05:53:46.929-07:00Leo Light<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
You make me feel like I am something,<br />
That I might just be someone special,<br />
even for few path crossing moments through out the years<br />
For making me believe in everything that is love,<br />
that is good,<br />
that is strong,<br />
I realize, I am insignificant<br />
On the scale of things..I know who I am... <br />
A drop.. a small tiny insignificant drop....<br />
Tho... I know I am worthy....<br />
For those feelings <br />
For those moments<br />
For lessons learned<br />
I am eternally grateful<br />
Thank you<br />
Love you<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
November 1, 2013<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-47468037925503027262013-09-29T20:00:00.000-07:002013-09-29T20:00:03.945-07:00Heartbeat<br />
<br />
Got my head on right,<br />
My heart is in the right place,<br />
You may be my heart,<br />
Not denying you have it,<br />
It may be you are my world,<br />
Quite sure it does not revolve around you,<br />
Not a fool.....<br />
<br />
I want you to know,<br />
Don't you forget,<br />
My love,<br />
My gratitude,<br />
For reasons known,<br />
For reasons unknown,<br />
Paths collided,<br />
Paths crossed,<br />
Feels like side by side this journey.....<br />
Together...<br />
Till God says it ends.....<br />
Glued......tattooed......<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
September 30, 2013<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-33035568266416271932013-09-22T00:55:00.000-07:002013-09-22T00:55:00.286-07:00Life's MelodyBetween laughter and tears, <br />
Hate and gratitude,<br />
Between confusion and clarity.<br />
Nothing much...<br />
Its whats mine,<br />
Its whats given,<br />
Its whats destined,<br />
Alhamdulillah......<br />
<br />
Promise,<br />
I'll stay in love,<br />
I'll stay in gratitude,<br />
I trust in my moment of weakness,<br />
You'd be there.<br />
<br />
Don't know whats next,<br />
I can't see beyond today,<br />
Only you do,<br />
I don 't expect to to tell me.<br />
I know this is all somehow a preperation,<br />
For something.....<br />
Just give me love,<br />
Just give me strength,<br />
Just give me the wisdom.<br />
<br />
All I know,<br />
All I pray,<br />
You will always be there<br />
My heart,<br />
My love,<br />
My strength,<br />
My haven....<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
September 22, 2013<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-47053809293608784582013-07-13T05:16:00.003-07:002013-07-13T05:18:30.942-07:00Can We Just Get Along?<br />
<br />
Dear brain that over thinks and over analyzes,<br />
Dear heart that feels and love,<br />
I know you know,<br />
You are smart,<br />
You love God,<br />
You have faith.<br />
Part of you is filled with hope<br />
I know you believe.<br />
<br />
Heart....<br />
I know you are tired,<br />
I know parts are bleeding,<br />
It will heal,<br />
I know you want to be better,<br />
I know you want to do better,<br />
You know its out there,<br />
You know your time is coming again...<br />
<br />
It hurts..sure,<br />
Its been too long,<br />
I know you need to breathe,<br />
I know you can,<br />
You have......<br />
Lift that head higher,<br />
(sure you have short neck..but stretch it would you??)<br />
Take that deep breathe.....<br />
<br />
I know you wonder.. <br />
You don't see that light....<br />
<br />
Trust..<br />
Believe...<br />
Sooner or later .. baby,<br />
Sooner or later,,,<br />
You got this......<br />
I LOVE YOU<br />
<br />
Can you two please get along?<br />
<br />
July 13, 2013<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-45863414529283396562013-06-23T23:05:00.002-07:002013-06-23T23:08:16.242-07:00Hazey Smoggy MomentsHazey <br />
Smoggy<br />
Looking out<br />
Attempting to work<br />
Mind and heart wonders<br />
Doing the best that I humanly can<br />
<br />
I hate it<br />
You know what I hate??<br />
Intellectually understanding,<br />
Emotionally still grasping,<br />
<br />
I hate it!<br />
I hate it!<br />
I hate it!<br />
<br />
<br />
Hate that I love you,<br />
Hate the thought of "are you crazy???"<br />
Can I ?<br />
Will I ever be able to stand happy and proud next to you...<br />
Standing tall next to you in the truth and love of the human lense,<br />
This hearts occasionally doubts<br />
But this heart loves continually<br />
This heart lives in her hopes and dreams<br />
<br />
I hate that I never imagine that my life would be this<br />
But, it is what it is.<br />
"But you gotta live in gratitude girl!!" <br />
Hell yeah I do! <br />
But have you also walked in MY SHOES???<br />
<br />
I am not Godless,<br />
I am not faithless,<br />
I am not hopeless,<br />
<br />
I do not wanna be frozen,<br />
NOT ME!<br />
<br />
I blame me,<br />
the dreamer,<br />
the faithful,<br />
the hopeful.<br />
Putting my faith in love and God,<br />
For thinking that I deserve everything that is good in my life,<br />
that I deserve to be joyful and happy,<br />
<br />
I have been a good person<br />
Done everything by the book with my occasional rules,<br />
Can't I get some love?<br />
Can't I get some break?<br />
Give me understanding,<br />
make me feel...anything but the cold chills<br />
<br />
<br />
Where is that door? <br />
That's waiting to be NinjaZee kicked<br />
Thats what I seek...<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
June 24, 2013<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-20461830039580056862013-05-02T03:35:00.002-07:002013-05-02T03:35:31.207-07:00My Lost Prince<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
May you find this,<br />
I know you are out there<br />
but,<br />
You are lost.<br />
You took a detour,<br />
The longer route getting home<br />
<br />
With or without you<br />
I will be great,<br />
God always has his love ,protection and mercy,<br />
I won't be forsaken,<br />
I won't be miserable<br />
<br />
Do what it is that you need to do, <br />
To be or find whatever it is you are seeking<br />
As I am seeking mine,<br />
Your home in my heart will always be here<br />
<br />
I am not letting my life run by the waiting<br />
run by longing,<br />
If you are gonna be home<br />
Come home,<br />
the light at that porch...<br />
was never turned out <br />
<br />
See it..<br />
Follow it..<br />
It'll lead you back,<br />
Where you belong<br />
<br />
Meanwhile...<br />
I am me..<br />
My lost Prince...<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
May 2, 2013 <br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-71202308841900545712013-04-16T23:18:00.000-07:002013-04-16T23:24:48.913-07:00"Love Lettah To Bahstan"<br />
Dear Boston and the wonderful people,loves and memories that has crossed my path.<br />
<br />
You have been dealing with quite a lot these past few days and my mind has calmed somewhat to which I can write this in your honor ,in the name of everything that is lovely and wonderful to me that you are , my soul home.<br />
<br />
I was born in Kuala Lumpur ,Malaysia. Truth of the matter is I always felt wrong ,not quite fit in right. I somehow dreamed and always knew that there were bigger, better things out that for me. Life after high school brought me to Boston University. I have known (more or less)about the city, the history, the heritage. That young , stubborn, insecure, strong willed , a little awkward , wallflower of a girl, barely grown. It was divine intervention that even made that dream possible. Did not take that girl long..to feel she was at home, she knew she loved you (probably even before she met you). She lived, loved, paid her growing up dues, made her share of mistakes in your arms. Boston is not huge like any major cities that could potentially eat you up,instead its able to love and embrace but not small enough that one might feel stifled. <br />
<br />
You taught that about self love,friendships,differences acceptance, of others, being not only book smart, street smart, building that inner strength, compassionate ,you taught her about “hangin' tough” and yes parts of her were made of the ”right stuff”. She always had that in her ,but,you,dear Boston, made her feel safe to be who she is and expressing it. Every bit what home should be and feel like. You were that, with every step that she took, every breath that was given. She belonged. She was more than alright. <br />
<br />
From that young girl to who I am at this point, the paths that crossed, lessons learned ,things lost and found, I am eternally grateful and indebted to you. Words don't do justice but I am sending you my love and prayers. My heart aches, my heart breaks. I however know you are love, you are strong...this will not bring you down . You will rise back , stronger and better than ever. I trust. I believe. Boston... you will always have my heart and soul. You are my home, where my soul and being is in peace. In the name of God and everything that is great,loving ,peaceful in this world AMEN, AMEEN . <br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-32508308916359092702013-02-26T19:37:00.001-08:002013-02-26T19:37:10.595-08:00How Be That Heart<br />
How be that heart <br />
Furious …<br />
Tears flowing.....<br />
Longing......<br />
Loving.....<br />
<br />
Trying to dig in<br />
Understanding<br />
Holding on to gratitude<br />
Wanting.being, love<br />
Holding on hope,faith,strength<br />
Still waiting...<br />
Still wondering<br />
<br />
Am I the biggest fool?<br />
Am I the biggest looser of a dreamer?<br />
But..<br />
You are who you are..don't deny that!!<br />
Hold on to hope..you say...<br />
Hold on to faith you say....<br />
You are where you are suppose to be you say..<br />
<br />
Tell me..after you know what I have and am going thru<br />
<br />
Why is my damn lessons so long....<br />
What am I not getting....<br />
I need to push thru<br />
But what am I pushing ???<br />
I can't even see any doors even tilting....even cracking...<br />
My head and my heart bruised<br />
<br />
Tell me again<br />
<br />
I am abundant<br />
I am love<br />
I am enough<br />
I am divinely protected<br />
<br />
I need to hear <br />
I need to feel <br />
<br />
<br />
February 27 ,2013<br />
Kuala LumpurThe Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-13089353702576936212013-02-13T01:40:00.000-08:002013-02-13T01:40:13.134-08:00Speak Love to Me<br />
<br />
You make me feel<br />
Honored..<br />
Loved...<br />
Accepted...<br />
Appreciated....<br />
That I do matter...<br />
Strong...<br />
Safe....<br />
That makes just wanna give more and be more...<br />
Special and beautiful....<br />
Happy........<br />
<br />
That's validation........<br />
I don't have to be right all the time,<br />
Tho, there might be days that I am …..<br />
Just acknowledge me<br />
What I say..<br />
What good I do,<br />
How I feel,<br />
Hear me out.....<br />
<br />
Baby..<br />
You don't complete me..<br />
You affirm me,<br />
I affirm you, <br />
My love...<br />
My feelings...<br />
What you do..<br />
Who you are to me.....<br />
That is where it all stems from.......<br />
Hope you know that.... <br />
Hope you would remember …...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
February 13, 2013<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-28078573254817760842013-01-30T18:44:00.001-08:002013-01-30T18:45:05.299-08:00Clouds<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Deal with reality you say, <br />
Get you heads out of the clouds you say,<br />
You don't know my reality,<br />
You don't know what I go thru,<br />
You don't know what I have to deal with,<br />
Each of us have our own story,<br />
Even you......<br />
I accept that <br />
Why does it not feel like you do?<br />
<br />
<br />
Its those clouds that cushions me,<br />
Cushions everything that wounds, <br />
Its those clouds that helps lift me up, <br />
When no one else would,<br />
When no one else cared, <br />
When I am on it,<br />
It makes me see more,<br />
Shows me what needs to be done.<br />
<br />
<br />
Be in your cold,sarcastic bubble,<br />
Just don't taint my clouds,<br />
Its those clouds that makes me me<br />
You make think other wise<br />
but it is what it is,<br />
I am OK.<br />
I will be even better.<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
January 31, 2013The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-56638299080871469922012-12-23T00:03:00.000-08:002012-12-23T00:07:00.157-08:00Light Searching<br />
<br />
Lowlights,<br />
Highlights,<br />
Sunshine,<br />
Moonshine,<br />
Missing you,<br />
Wondering,<br />
Praying.<br />
<br />
Wishing things were different,<br />
Grateful that they even exist, <br />
<br />
Turn around you see....<br />
There is love,<br />
Look .......<br />
There is abundance,<br />
You wonder....<br />
Will it even be mine?<br />
But..<br />
You tell yourself<br />
Have faith!<br />
You got to believe! <br />
Don't be silly!<br />
<br />
You know it will,<br />
but you still wonder .....<br />
Got to shut that voice up!<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
December 23, 2012<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2368128476958283839.post-39404052874122331912012-12-01T01:31:00.000-08:002012-12-01T03:50:23.970-08:00Not Here, ,Not Now<br />
<br />
My fear<br />
The longer I am here<br />
The further away I am......<br />
From You...<br />
From Love....<br />
From who I am …<br />
To see what I need to see..<br />
To be where I need to be...<br />
<br />
Its taking its own time,<br />
Far too long...<br />
God has his reasons....<br />
<br />
<br />
Getting harder to feel the love,<br />
How can you keep it,<br />
or can you even hold on to it ,<br />
Takes to much strength,<br />
Questioning..<br />
Do I even have it..<br />
I know what the damn answer is....<br />
<br />
<br />
Feel I am drifting away,<br />
Feel that you are drifting away<br />
It's not what I want<br />
Not goodbye<br />
Hard to let go..<br />
The one shining love ,light in your life,<br />
Don't wanna lose Me...<br />
<br />
<br />
It might just be the whispers of sadness talking,<br />
I surrender everything,<br />
I know for sure..I don't have all the answers...<br />
Only God does.<br />
My faith is tested..sometimes it is weaning....<br />
I am only human..<br />
But...<br />
Love will never leave the spirit that is me.....<br />
<br />
<br />
Kuala Lumpur<br />
December 1, 2012<br />
The Zee Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340856091702659840noreply@blogger.com0