Note To Self

Dear Self
Are you OK?

Me?
Am counting blessing
Am smiling
Am living
Am loving

But in my heart
I cry
I give my all
but sometimes it doesn't feel
Doesn't feel that I get what greatness I deserve
That I don't get the love I deserve
I feel sad
Don't know what else to do
I shut off
I surrender
I want

I wish I know what God wanted me to do
I don't ...
I admit..
I roll with the flow
I smile
I do what needs to be done
The best I can
But why.
Why do I feel that I deserve better
missing things...
Don't want that
God's blessings surroundings
I wouldn't be here if God didn't love or didn't want me
I've gotta believe it


Dear self
Smile
Hold on
Have faith
Its takes a whole lot of strength
but you will get there
Where you need to be

I love you
God loves you


Kuala Lumpur
February 8, 2012