What I Want

I tell you what I want
To be that shoulder
Knowing that I am not stupid
Knowing that I am not naive
To know that you are not you are not faking it,
For you to see me as me
as good person that I am
I just want to see,want to know the real you

Baby ...
You are not up there
And I am not down here
If we can 't meet each other half way
God help me,
Help me understand
If it needs to be over
Shouldn't it be over
But..Its not

I'd much rather let you go ..
in love
than be this way...
Would I ever know the truth
You've been in my life for far too long
for it to be this way
For me to feel this way

My love eternal
patience tested
Till the last drop


Kuala Lumpur
August 24, 2011

Thank You

Dear God I thank you
I thank you for this screwed up life you have given me
I thank you

I was not suppose to be born
but here I am anyways...
broken inside
I thank you

You send me them
I live in love
I am belittled
I am different
I am weird
They make me feel small
They don't see me
They don't respect me
I am not me....
and they expect me to love and respect them
Thank you God


Thank you for the hurt
Thank you for the anger
Thank you for the sadness,tears
Thank you for the frustration

Thank you for sending me to my love and joy and taking it back from me
Thank you for sending me, and making me feel the love and only to be told I can never have it... only in my dreams

Thank you
And now little 'ol me is expected to hold on to love faith and hope
when all I am surrounded with is chains and limitations
Thank you

Now you can have back this life you have given me
I thank you

Kuala Lumpur
August 17, 2011

The Only Thing Thats Real

Dear real love,
In this rumble,
In this solitude
I thank you

I am letting you know
I am here
I am ready
Ready to surrender
Ready to receive
What is real
what that is love
what that is understanding,compassionate and nuturing


I am love
I surround myself with love
I am worthy
Anything less than joyful
Anything less that oness with you my higher power
Does not belong here

God... I return that to you


Kuala Lumpur
August 6, 2011